Laptop Gets To Age When It Can Be Lightly Tossed Sometimes – The Onion (satire)

TROY, AL—Explaining that the degree of care with which it must be handled has been steadily decreasing over time, local man Peter Shepard confirmed Monday that his laptop had reached the age where it can be lightly tossed sometimes. “It’s six years old now, so it’s okay to gently throw it every now and then, but only if it’s onto a soft surface like a couch or something,” said Shepard, who having officially relaxed his standard of care for the 13-inch MacBook Pro purchased in 2011, now often lobs it underhanded onto his bed without hesitation. “I mean, you can’t slam it on the floor or anything, but if I occasionally drop it onto a table from a few inches above, that’s not the end of the world either.” Shepard went on to say that he also has become steadily more comfortable leaving his laptop unattended in public places while he uses the restroom.

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