White House Correspondents’ Dinner: Obama’s Best Zingers – NBCNews.com

President Barack Obama got some big laughs during the White House Correspondents Dinner in Washington on Saturday. He took jabs at his fellow politicians, major media outlets, and even took a few shots at himself.

Here are some of his biggest laugh lines of the night:

“The fact is I feel more loose and relaxed than ever. Those Joe Biden shoulder massages are like magic”

“Dick Cheney said I was the worst president of his lifetime, which is interesting because I think Dick Cheney is the worst president of MY lifetime.”

“Six years into my presidency, people still say I’m arrogant. Aloof. Condescending. People are so dumb. That’s why I don’t meet with them.”

On Vice President Joe Biden: “We’ve gotten so close that some places in Indiana won’t serve us pizza anymore.”

“I look so old, John Boehner’s already invited Netanyahu to speak at my funeral. Meanwhile, Michelle hasn’t aged a day. I ask her what her secret is, she says ‘fresh fruits and vegetables.'”

“Bernie Sanders might run. I like Bernie. People really want to see a pot-smoking socialist in the White House. We could get a third Obama term after all.”

“After the midterm elections, my advisers asked me if I had a bucket list. I said I have something that rhymes with ‘bucket list.’ Take executive action on immigration? Buck-et. New climate regulations? Buck-et.”

“Nine in 10 Americans now have health coverage. Today, thanks to Obamacare, you no longer have to worry about losing your insurance if you lose your job. You’re welcome Senate Democrats.”

“Ted Cruz believes the earth revolves around Ted Cruz. When the guy who has his face on a ‘HOPE’ poster calls you self-centered, you’ve got a problem.”

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— Jillian Sederholm



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